Time

Sometimes when I look at Jack my heart actually "hurts", because I can't believe how fast time is passing. I think it is because he is my last child and I know I am entering a new phase of life. I don't even LIKE being pregnant, let alone delivering a baby - so I can't imagine why I sometimes have pangs that I will never be pregnant again (really, I should be so relieved and happy about this!) or that I will never have a newborn baby again (again, I should be so relieved about this!).

Sometimes I want time to stand still, so that I can catch my breath and get caught up with life. I've been living much more in the moment and feeling less stressed in recent months, but that hasn't seemed to help with the rapid passing of time. I am happier now that I'm not working outside of the home so perhaps that's another reason for my perception of time (flies when you are having fun). Everything seems to be happening so quickly.

Watching a little baby grow during the first few years of life is like watching a movie in fast forward - it happens right before your eyes. Literally, overnight, changes happen. It's a constant reminder of CHANGE.

I have an uneasy feeling about this passage of time, but I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the constant change. Maybe it's the coming and going of memories - if I don't stop to think and reflect they are gone - and I struggle to retrieve events and happenings from the depths of my brain. It's unnerving when I can't even remember simple things like what I did yesterday! (what DID I do yesterday?? oh yeah, went to a movie with the girls. what else? i can't remember without really thinking about it)

Well - enough about that for now! I think I've realized that LOTS of time passes while I'm blogging, reading blogs and playing with digital photos! TIME to go play with some more pictures! At least this blog and my pictures help me to a small hold on the past.