This picture (well-seeing Santa) led to some big discussions at our house!!!!
Questions, questions, questions. Dave and I have been talking about what we want to tell the kids about Santa. Really, it's a big lie, and do we want them to ask us (4 years from now) "Why did you lie to us about Santa - he isn't REAL"!? Also - we really want Christmas to be the celebration of a birthday (Jesus) AND a time to reflect on love, peace, and what we can do to make the world better through our existence. BUT - that's a lot for a kid to understand. It's SOOOOO easy to say "Santa brings presents. You better be good - Santa is watching". Plus, we want them to experience the wonder and excitement of Christmas......but I can't get the words to come out - "yes Santa is REAL". Maybe I am a big prude. Maybe I am too much of a realist. Does it hurt to "lie" to bring some joy and excitement???
Or - can we manage the joy and excitement without "santa"????
We've been telling the girls that we give and get presents from those we love and who love us - and that we have decorations and a tree and lights b/c we are celebrating Jesus' birthday.
So - our latest is if they ask, Santa's are characters, like Dora or Wonder Pets, or Cinderella - and he is good and kind and wants us to be good and kind, too. And that presents come from thoese who love us, and those we love. Not because they were "good" or "bad", but because they are themselves.
I'm sure some people will think this is crazy, over the top, and "scroogish", but, it's just what we've decided to do - and maybe it will change as we learn and grow as parents......I mean - there is still the Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy.....
3 comments:
Sarah, that Santa is so bad. He looks like Uncle William. Kids are not that stupid. After 18 months, your kid says they believe in Santa (after having sat on his lap) then THEY are playing YOU.
I think that is a smart way to approach Santa. I have wondered what to tell Celia too! I remember feeling duped when I learned (at the tender age of 7) that Santa wasn't real because I heard my dad cursing at a big wheel he was putting together for my sister! I don't think I want Celia to feel that way! The only thing I worry about is her telling others and ruining their family's traditions.
This is what I tell my kids about Santa. He WAS real. God put him on earth and he was so kind to those that were less fortunate but like most people he has passed away. The Santa's at the malls are not real but, they represent and help the original Santa's "spirit of giving" and so when we go to him every year it is to remember that spirit and to show God that we too believe in giving to those who are less fortunate. We also bring toys or other things to the giving tree at the mall in the same trip. That way they can feel a little Santaish too. I do remind them that the spirit of Santa is REAL but that like all things God created him and used him as a vessle to spread kindness to others. That way you don't feel prudish for celebrating a tradition that really is about giving to others and isn't that what God is trying to teach us? -Danna
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